Drowning in my past
by garyoaksumbreon
Summary: Gary Oak is in a deep depression over his parents and can't handle the pain anymore. Some Palletshipping
1. Drowning In My Past

**Drowning in my past**

1: Why'd you leave me?

* * *

"Why did I deserve this?" Tears started to form. I couldn't help but crying. "Why did they leave me!" It was endless now. I couldn't stop crying, I could barely breath. I was having an episode but, I was all alone and there was no one there to save me.

* * *

My parents died when I was only 9 years old and the worst part is I remember the whole thing.

"Son, come on we got to go home"

"Do I have to? Gramps can I please stay." I looked at my Grandfather hoping to stay and play with the pokemon. "I think it would be best if you went back with your parents." I crossed my arms in disappointment. "Come on, Gary! We have a present waiting for you at home!" My mother exclaimed. As a 9 year old boy I forgot about everything and ran to the car. 'A present I couldn't wait!' My parents said goodbye to my Grandfather and we drove away leading to our hometown of Viridian.

It was dark out now, but we didn't have far to drive. Viridian was only minutes away from Pallet.

As we reached the entrance to Viridian I saw something(that something being a car) coming in our direction. It was fast and looked like a blur of white light.

Just as soon as I saw the car it was over and I blacked out.

When I woke up, I was in the hospital and Gramps(Better known as Professor Oak) was sitting on the chair next to my bed staring off into space.

That was when I tried to get up but, I failed and fell back in the bed. "You're still a little sore Gary, you should get some rest" Gramps smiled at me.

That was when I noticed something, The smile my grandfather gave me and the fact that Mom and Dad weren't there. My heart stopped as I thought of all the things that could have happened to them. I Quickly asked "Where's Mom and Dad?" As I looked at Gramps, he looked down and shook his head. My eyes widen, my heart raced and sweat trickled down my face. 'He couldn't possibly mean that there?' "I'm sorry Gary, but they're gone."

As soon as I heard him speak those words I lost it. "No!" I blurted out. "No, they can't be!" I was screaming and tears flooded my eyes. I tried to get out of the hospital bed, but some Nurses came up to me and tried to calm me down. I couldn't stop. I refused to believe my parents were dead.

After a while I calmed down and I fell asleep. Finally getting some rest over all the screaming and crying. Continuing to cry once I got up, It was nearly 4 months before I finally got better but, not truly better.

Once I was out of the hospital I got to live with Gramps, until I finally turned 10 and was able to get my pokemon license.(Which was less than a year later) Knowing my grandfather felt bad for me he bought me a new shiny red convertible for my birthday.(Which was totally unnecessary for a 10 year old!) I was only ten so he hired some girls to keep me company and drive for me(They also cheered for me in every match I did. Was I really that hopeless that he had to pay for people to be nice to me?) Even though I truly hated that Gramps did this for me I still smiled and thanked him.(He was my only family member left) That was when I saw my old friend, Ash when I was going out of the lab. Ever since the accident I haven't said a word to him.

When I spoke to him, I don't know what came over me but I was mean to him. Since then I've been more to myself and every time I see Ash, I'm mean. It gives me a sense of security and since he has been one of my only friends I had to be mean to him. Trying to isolate myself from everyone.

Now that I'm nearly 16, I still break down every night.(All alone, The cheerleaders left me ages ago) And sometimes when the screaming and crying isn't enough, I cut. Which I never thought me of all people would be doing and even though I know I shouldn't do it, It makes me feel better. The physical pain masking away my emotional pain. Slowly letting my worries drain away just like the blood.

I'm just glad that I'm by myself, If my grandfather were to find out...I'd be lectured till the end of time. Still, I keep wondering why this had to happen to me? Did I do something morally wrong that god had to strip me of my parents and any chances of making real friends? Sometimes I just feel like I'm worthless to the world. I have no friends, my parents are gone, my grandfather cares more about that awkward kid(Ash) then he cares about me and its not like I enjoy life.

My thoughts started to go back to "That" again, The thought of just getting it over with. I started to cut again, Striking as hard as I could on my left arm(To be exact). The tears coming down like little rain drops, The pain soothing me..."Just get it over with" I keep telling myself. I could finally be free...

I made my decision, I seriously couldn't deal with this anymore! I finally stopped crying, I wiped my tears and got up from the cold bare ground, slowly standing up. I went to my backpack and opened it, I found a thing of rope and took it out, zipping it up nicely. I took my pokeballs with my pokemon in it and put them next to my pack, kissing Umbreons ball. Whispering a faint goodbye, I went up to a large tree right next to my camp. I climbed up to the first big branch, I sat down and tied the rope to the tree. Taking the other end, I tied it around my neck making sure it was secure. I swayed my feet on the branch and looked up. "I never thought it would come to this" I started to whimper, tears flooding my eyes. ' It would all be over soon'. After a few minutes I stopped crying and I washed the tears with my hand. I looked down at the ground and then I spoke calmly. "This is it. Mom, Dad, I will see you soon" I smiled.

* * *

2: Why can't you see how much it hurts?

* * *

I woke up to the sounds of a faint beeping. I looked around, Noticing that I was in the hospital. The memory starting to haunt me again especially when I saw Gramps who was walking over with that stupid smile again. "You're finally awake Gary. Did you have a pleasant sleep?" "Ummm...I" I was so confused, How did I get here? I thought that I was gone or maybe that was just a dream. My mind was scrambled and I just hoped to god that it was a dream. I couldn't imagine having people find out I was suicidal but to my luck it wasn't a dream. "I don't know what I would have done if Ash wouldn't have found you in the time he did!" He exclaimed, holding me in an tight embrace that I hoped would end soon. I could feel the tears drench the back of my hospital gown and I just wanted to disappear. This was beyond embracing and now that he knows, I will definitely be put into therapy for the next few months, Great.

He finally let go of me and he wiped his tears with his lab coat. "I promise I'll be back tomorrow" He said as he got up and left. But, as soon as he exited the room, Ash came through the door. Quickly before he saw me, I pretended to be asleep. There was no way I was going to face him, Especially after Gramps told me that he saved me. That was when I heard him walk towards me and then I felt a hand on my forehead. He started to slowly ruffle my hair and I just tried my hardest not to open my eyes. What the fuck was he doing? That Idiot! Then to a shock he started to speak in a somewhat soothing voice, It was Ash's voice after all.(Annoying Kid Voice, Seriously I hate this kid) "You mean the world to me you know. I know I don't show it but you are. I still can't imagine what would happen if I didn't find you." That was when I heard him whimper and something in me told me he was crying. Does he really care that much? Its probably just grief, I almost died after all.

Now everyone will think I'm crazy and I knew this wasn't going to end up well.

The next day, I was visited by a therapist.(Fucking Fantastic) Gramps had hired one, to make sure this would never happen again. Who I hated talking to, Seriously therapists are just people who get paided to listen to people and act like they care about your well being but, if I wanted to show progress I had to say something. So, I faked it. I had always been a good actor(At least I think so) and there was no way Gary Oak was going to talk about his actual problems.

After a few months I was released and the therapist gave the okay to Gramps. I told my grandfather that I was going to continue my research and camp out in the woods. That I was feeling well enough and I needed some time out there with the pokemon.(And be by myself, I hate people) He warned me and told me to call him every day or he would report me. He cried as he hugged me, "Don't leave Gary, People love and care about you" I nodded and went off back to the place where I tried to kill myself. "This time, I will not fail" I told myself.

It had been a few days since I left. I called Gramps everyday and put on the happiest face I could while doing it. I could tell he was worried but, still better. Even though I acted like I was okay, I still wasn't. I continued to cry every night and just told myself it would only be a few more days. "Soon the pain will be gone"

Finally the day came, The day I retried my death. I had it all planned out too. First I would invite Gramps to breakfast and Then leave a little before lunch. I'd say goodbye to my pokemon and give them nice homes.(I can't just leave them and if I gave them to Gramps he'd know somethings up) Then when it got closer to night, I would go into the woods, find the cliff(The one my Grandfather warned me to stay away from as a kid, knowing I could fall) and finally reunite with my parents. I continued to replay it in my head, making sure I had no flaws. (I can't fail this time)

When I got to Pallet town, I quickly went to the restaurant I had to meet Gramps at. He was already there and we ordered right away. I tried to act like my normal self to show Gramps I was okay. Surprisingly he never noticed and when I had to leave, I hugged him. (Which I normally don't do) I waved goodbye and left to go find someone to give my pokemon too.(Which took only minutes, The people here in Pallet town are mostly trustworthy) While I was walking I heard something behind me. "Gary!" I looked only to see Ash.(O fuck! NOT him! NOT now! NOT again!) "O, hey Ashy-boy, What you up to?" "Nothing much, just was wondering if you wanted to do something together. Professor Oak said you were coming to town and I decided it would be the perfect opportunity" "Sure, why not" I said, even though I really didn't want to. Why did he always have to ruin this?

* * *

3: One thing, Isn't going to change my mind

* * *

I followed him until we got to his house. "Wait just a moment Gary!" He yelled only a little bit to excitedly.

He ran into the house and I thought "This is my chance" I was about to run away but Ash came out with a basket and locked his arms with mine. This was weird now, I was confused and all I knew was that I wanted to leave.(Like Seriously what is wrong with this kid!?) "Come on, Gary" He yelled, leading me into the forest. Why was he taking me to the forest? "Where are we going?" I asked but Ash didn't answer.(Idiot)

Soon after he stopped and I looked around. We were by the river(the one we fought at for a pokeball only to have it be split in half.(Though that part really doesn't matter)) The only question I had was why did he take me here? "Aren't you going to help me" He asked as he held a blanket in his hands. I took one end and he the other. We spread it out and he opened the basket, Taking out all sorts of foods. "I just ate" I said hoping to get out of this "Your loss" he said as he took a bite out of an egg salad sandwich. "I'm gonna go" I said a bit nervously but as I tried to stand up Ash pulled me down. He was a lot stronger then I remembered.(He is scrawny and he can still pull me down) "Listen, I understand if you hate me. But, it just means I care" "What do you mean, I don't hate you?" I lied. "You know exactly what I mean. I only saved you because I care about you Gary" "Listen, You don't have to be nice to me just because of that one night.-" That was when Ash interrupted me. "Yes I do! Do you understand how worried I was!?" He said now sounding angry. I looked down, and I started to cry. I didn't know what came over me. I never cried in front of someone since I was nine.(It was only natural then) But, I couldn't help it. I had been holding in the pain for too long. I grabbed Ash and cried onto his chest.(Which was surprisingly comfortable) Which was weird because normally Ash was the emotional one but, this time I was. He held my head and I think I felt his lips kiss my head but, I didn't care.(At least not at the moment) I had someone to show my feelings too and that made me happy.(I guess isolating myself from everyone doesn't always work) During this I felt my heart chase and I had the butterflies in my stomach.(WTF!?) The whole world began to spin and my tears stopped. I just held onto him and he held me even tighter. (Was it weird that I enjoyed this?) This was the first time in years that I actually felt happy. My thoughts of suicide that usually flooded my mind were replaced with the thoughts of Ash and his scent, the warmth of his body on mine. I never wanted this moment to end, I was in complete happiness.

I must have fell asleep because when I awoke, I was still resting on Ash's chest. It was dark and he was sound asleep. I slowly and quietly got up from his warm embrace. I looked at him and soaked in his features, His amazing eyes to his perfect plump lips-. I stopped my thoughts, silently crying at what I had just thought and done. "You are not a homosexual! Ash doesn't make a difference!" I decided then and there I was going to continue what I had started. "One thing isn't going to change my mind."

* * *

4: All over (Ending)

* * *

Without taking another glance, I took my bag and left. Every time Ash entered my mind I quickly shoved it out. Why was he doing this? It's like he knew. I never really even thought about him at all until he saved from something I didn't want to be saved from. Now he had taken me to some part of the forest and started to cuddle me. I was so confused, and I wanted to know what he wanted from me. I still continued to walk, where I was going I didn't know or care. I just wanted to leave, To be anywhere else.(Ash seriously needs to stop interfering!)

That was when I heard footsteps running towards me and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground and he was on top of me. "What the fuck are you doing..." "I won't let you go, Not now or ever!" He exclaimed and before I could react his lips were on top of mine.

Before he could advance I pushed him away, rolled over and stood up. I rubbed the dirt off my clothes(As well as my lips that had been violated by his) and looked down at him.(Him being 3 inches shorter then my 6 feet)

"What the fuck was that for!?" I yelled, demanding answers. "Umm...well" He rubbed the back of his neck in (Nervousness?) and embarrassment. "Come on spit it out" "I was worried about you and... I kind of like you" "Why would you be worried about me. We're fucking rivals and that is all we ever will be!" I yelled, turning my head and walking away not daring to look back.

As soon as I was far away enough, I ran. I couldn't do this anymore, I'm sorry Umbreon, I'm sorry Gramps, I'm sorry Ash...I can't.

It took me only minutes to find the cliff(Already being here before). I sat my bag down and went to the end of the cliff, Taking took one last look at the world before falling to what I know will be the end of me.

* * *

5: Epilogue (Conclusions) For All over

* * *

It was only a few days later when they found Gary's body at the bottom of the cliff. He had finally succeed in his suicide. The cops and investigators soon after told Professor Oak. Who didn't take it well, The death of his only grandson. How could he let him slip away just like that?

Soon later, the Professor died. He was lying on the bathroom floor when they found him. No one knew how he died or if it had anything to do with his grandson.

As for Ash Ketchum, He continued his pokémon journey. This time he didn't go with anyone though, After the accident he never traveled with anyone again. Still in depression over the love of someone who never felt the same way.

* * *

6: Last drop (Alternate Ending) ((the cheesy chick flick ending))

* * *

I glanced his direction one last time before leaving. This was for the best I continued to tell myself.

When I could no longer see the clearing I started to walk faster. Trying to make it to the cliff before Ash found it.

Finally I reached there, Looking behind me making sure I had no unexpected visitors.(Ash)

I went to the edge, looked down and sat down. Dangling my feet, taking deep breathes.

No screaming, No crying, just the sound of my light breathing. Looking down another time before concluding to myself it was for the best.

As I was about to jump I heard a voice "Gary!" I looked over to see Ash. "Gary, Please don't do this" "I have too, its my only way out" I said calmly. "No its not, listen. We can figure this out just come over here" "I have to finish what I started." That was when I jumped, only to be stopped again by none other than Ash.

He was at the edge of cliff barely hanging on to my hood. "Let go!" I growled. I tried to take away his hands but, he didn't budge. "Gary, I won't let you die" "WHY NOT!" "Because, I love you" I looked at him shockingly. "You, what?" "I said I love you" My eyes widen, I couldn't believe it.

That was when the ground rumbled and the peak of the cliff we were on caved. I grabbed Ash and I held onto him as tight as possible. "I love you too"

* * *

7: Epilogue (Finally Free) For Last Drop

* * *

I was holding him tightly. I knew, he would be mine. I would get to see my parents, the pain could end and I could be with the one I love the most.

* * *

8: The reminder (Forgotten Add on)

* * *

After my parents died, My Gramps gave me the present my parents were going to give me. It was a "Ying Yang" necklace, I read the tag. "From. Mom and Dad XOXO"(It was my birthday afterall.) Since then I have worn the necklace because it reminds me of my loving parents I used to have. Only later replaced by a purple necklace, Trying to forget and move on. Only later realizing it made me feel even worse than I already did.

* * *

Notes: If i get enough messages or reviews I will consider a sequel which might be a creepypasta

*I know its super cheesy but I tried*


	2. Sequel Ongoing Notice

Notice: I'm making a sequel to this story following the Original(all over) ending. Ash will be the main character and it will be another suicide story.

The story should be up soon, Probably within a few days.


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